


House Party

by supervillainesses



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, Gotham City Sirens (Comics)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-17 11:38:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10593252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supervillainesses/pseuds/supervillainesses
Summary: No one threw a party like Selina Kyle. That was the unspoken fact about Gotham’s underground. If Gatsby had a long-lost sister, Selina would be the one mourning over his maudlin, fool-in-love life at the funeral. Rumor had it the last one she threw, there had been a live cheetah roaming her mansion, but Oswald had a tendency to over-exaggerate.





	

No one threw a party like Selina Kyle. That was the unspoken fact about Gotham’s underground. If Gatsby had a long-lost sister, Selina would be the one mourning over his maudlin, fool-in-love life at the funeral. Rumor had it the last one she threw, there had been a live cheetah roaming her mansion, but Oswald had a tendency to over-exaggerate.

“And…why are you inviting me?” Ivy brushed her fingers along the potted plants Penguin had set up on the low divider walls between tables. He had obviously thought them a lovely novelty, but the _lilium longiflorum_ was poisonous to most mammals. She hoped Selina remembered to wash her hands. “You’re the one who regularly calls me a wet blanket, hm?”

“The wettest,” Selina smirked around the thin straw in her mouth. Her brows furrowed and her expression embittered.

“Not to your liking?”

“No, that sounded…much less sexual in my head,” she frowned, trying to readjust her body language. “Hey, cut the crap, ragweed!”

Ivy chuckled low in her throat, and with a shrug eased her control on her pheromones. The gentlemen at the surrounding three tables all sluggishly returned from their stupor, as if waking from a shared daydream.

“Sorry,” said Ivy unapologetically. “I’m used to call-outs at the Iceberg being for dimwitted assassination attempts or potential team-ups from people with no qualms in cutting a woman an unequal deal. Can’t blame a gal for keeping the playing field level.”

“But you knew I was inviting you to the party; I wasn’t out to commission you.“

“And, I admit that watching you squirm with unrequited desire for me was going to be my dinner and a show. So,” she spoke over Selina’s indignation, “how is she?”

“As if you care?”

“I’m not even going to deign that with a response.” Ivy cracked open one of the oysters on her plate. It was a misconception that she had to lead an herbivore’s lifestyle, one she liked to perpetuate, but every now and again she liked to indulge in something others thought she couldn’t have. She might even order dessert. “So?”

Selina removed a knotted cherry stem from between her teeth and set it on the cocktail napkin beside her Long Island iced tea. The light from her phone blotted out the green of her eyes.

“She’d be happier if you showed up tonight,” the cat noted. In a jerk of motion, she reached across the table to snatch up Ivy’s green cell phone, bought at Harley’s insistence. She swiped her thumb to the lockscreen and smirked. “This is a cute one of you two; check out that swimsuit on Harley. I always wondered why she chose a full-body suit when she’s got such a cute figure for a gymnast. Better to flaunt it while you’re young.”

Ivy narrowed her eyes. “Is that a snide tone I detect?”

“Only at myself, I assure you. Mama ain’t no spring chicken.”

“Isn’t.”

“Huh?”

“You said ‘ain’t,’ it’s ‘isn’t.’ Really, how is she?”

“You’re still mad I took her in, aren’t you? I know you’re trying this whole positive versus negative reinforcement, but just because you read a Wikipedia article on the Net, it doesn’t make you a trained psychologist. Even those fuckers can’t quite help Harley. Don’t be one of those people who thinks _love_ is the only thing she needs to be cured.”

“She made her decision,” Ivy stated calmly, ignoring the rest of what Selina said.

“You’d think, after all this time, you’d understand just what’s choice and what’s involuntary for Harley. Joker is the compulsory twitch in her hands, like a smoker that’s about to be dragged outside into the cold just so she can fill her lungs with smoke. Harley, God help her, _chooses_ you Ivy. If that’s not enough for you, I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s not about her choosing me.”

“Then, what, pray tell, is it about? It’s not our fault, Pam. It’s not our fault we’ve fallen for people who are married to their own darkness.”

Ivy, now hot in the face, began cracking open the remaining oysters on her plate with her bare hands. Selina watched, wide-eyed, as she ruthlessly ripped them in half.

“You can go now, fur ball.”

Grumbling, Selina slapped down a twenty on the table. “The party’s in half an hour and lasts until dawn. Come.”

“Oh, kitten?” Ivy called after her. “Do remember to wash your hands.”

* * *

The door swung open to reveal Selina, dressed in an expensive gown with her mouth wide open, a kebab poised in hand to make an entrance. She grinned smugly and stepped aside.

“What a tacky house,” Ivy noted in a lofty tone. “Who was your interior decorator, Cleopatra?”

“Flattery will get you everywhere, pine cone.” Selina spoke around the meat kebab in her mouth.

Not even inside yet, and Ivy could hardly hear herself think. She heard animal sounds in the distance, but perhaps Cheetah had taken a night off from harassing Wonder Woman for once. As her foot made contact with the floor over the threshold, Ivy was knocked down and held there by two sets of paws as her face was licked from both sides.

“Boys!” Selina snapped and Bud and Lou retreated, whimpering slightly. “Okay?”

“I’ll manage.” Ivy allowed Selina to help her to her feet, trying to little avail to wipe off hyena drool and their fur from the midnight blue velvet of her dress. “They listened to you.”

“Oh, sort of. Isis set them straight the first day Harley was here. Every rowdy boy just needs a woman’s touch. That, and they’re afraid of cats. Go figure.”

“Where is she?”

“Up– _MY MING VASE IS NOT A SHOT GLASS, NIGMA_.”

And Ivy lost her host. No matter.

Ascending the stairs provided a better view of the expanse of the party. Most of Gotham’s criminal element was present, including some mob fellas, and one or two crooked cops. Honestly, Ivy wondered how Selina could stomach having Cheshire in her home after the last time she came in to visit from Star City. It looked as if the bannister was still broken in some parts. Though, it appeared Cheshire was too busy talking to Hugh Jackman to start too much fuss; it was good to see that Clayface was also having fun tonight.

It was marginally quieter upstairs, but in a way that was reminiscent of a few college parties she had been dragged to against her will. A few muffled moans from behind closed doors confirmed her suspicions. Great. The last thing Ivy wanted was to walk in on two or more of her colleagues getting it on.

“Harl?” Ivy called. “Harl, are you here?”

Silence fell over the hall.

“Red?”

A smile came unbidden to her face and Ivy followed the voice to the room at the end of the hall.

“I knew ya’d come,” Harley beamed at her, lain out flat on a large bed in the room. She sounded groggy, as if she’d been asleep. “I told Selina ya would. I _told_ her. Lock the door, Red. The last people looking for a room to hookup were Eddie and Crane, and I did _not_ need the image of their scrawny butts in my head.”

Neither did Ivy. She locked the door, and settled in beside Harley in bed. Harley rested her golden head onto Ivy’s arm and draped her free one over Ivy’s stomach, her hand caressing the midnight blue velvet tight over her belly. Ivy let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. It felt as if she’d been holding her breath for days, since Harley escaped Arkham with _him_ , and not her.

“Ya always look so damn good, Ives. It’s like you’re a walking daydream.”

“You look good, too, Harley.” _Always do_ , Ivy wanted to say, but knew it would come out as some desperate moan. _How unfair._

“You won’t say that when I show ya what happened.”

“Mm?”

Harley drew back the duvet from over her legs, revealing a cast covering her leg from toe to knee.

“I’ll kill him!”

“No, no, Red! It ain’t like that! It’s Selina–”

“I’ll kill her too!”

“Calm down! Red, I did this. I goofed. Selly took me on a heist last night, to cheer me up, and I missed a tree branch while running from some guard dogs. I fell, like, thirty feet. I thought…I mean, it felt like a sign. Like ya were…mad…but that’s dumb, you don’t control every tree in Gotham…”

Ivy shifted so she could pin her arms down on either side of Harley’s head, so she could stare down into those glassy blues, shining with unshed tears.

“You thought,” Ivy stopped herself, trying to check her anger, but couldn’t. “You thought I would _hurt you_ like that? Just because I was upset?”

Harley shifted uncomfortably, but between the cast on her leg and the stare Ivy had her snared with, there was no escape. Tears flowing sideways into her hairline, Harley nodded. Ivy felt like vomiting.

“I’m not _him_ , Harley. I’m not.”

“I know that!” Harley snapped, hiccuping through her sobs. “But, but when I was lying there in the dark, my leg hurting so bad I wanted the dogs to just _take it already_ , I saw the leaves rustling and…and I heard your voice in my head. And it wasn’t even upset, just sad. It said _This is the pain of leaving someone behind._ I don’t know why I went with him, Red. I don’t. He unlocked my cell, and I didn’t even think twice. I never think, not ever, not around him. But as we was speeding away to the hideout, he wouldn’t slow down the car. He’d cut out the seat belts. Girl-Bats managed to pull me out of the car, and after I gave her the slip…I knew I couldn’t just go back to ya. You’d be too mad. Especially after what you’d said when I chose Joker’s side of the hall over yours in the escape.”

_Stop making mistakes, Harley. This decision will be your last one._

“So I thought…I only had Selina left, Red. Red?”

Ivy rolled her eyes and sighed heavily, resting her head on Harley’s chest.

“Red, I’m sorry, I–”

“It’s unfair, Harley. The… _power_ you have over me,” Ivy rolled over, staring up at the ceiling. “I’ve been making myself sick all week, thinking you hated me, when you thought I hated _you_.”

“You…don’t?”

“Would I have come to see you tonight if I did?”

“Oh. Good point.”

“I said those things in the hallway, Harl, because…because I thought that, after all this time, you would have chosen me first.”

“But I did!” Harley tried to roll over to face Ivy, but winced. More than just her leg was hurt, Ivy could tell now. There were some cuts on her collarbone, peeking out from the thin fabric of her pink shirt. It brought out the lively color in her always rosy cheeks. “I mean, I _wanted_ to go with Joker, when I ran with him during the prison break, but that…that ain’t the same as choosing, not that time. When the car was speeding real fast, I heard your voice again, too. Just real simple, saying my name. And then, all the clouds rolled away, and I could see, and I could see that I wanted you. I can’t always choose, Red, but my first choice is y–”

Ivy cut her off with a deep kiss, her hand on Harley’s hip to help bring them closer without hurting her leg. Harley broke apart gasping, but not from lack of air, not when Ivy exhaled only oxygen. They could theoretically go on kissing forever.

“Did the dogs get you?” Ivy asked quietly, raising the hem of Harley’s shirt to reveal a few more cuts on Harley’s stomach.

“Nah, just some twigs from the– _whoa, mama_.”

Ivy smirked into the kisses she was, for lack of a better word, planting on the scrapes Harley had garnered on her stomach. The poison she secreted was only deadly to those who weren’t immune. To those who were, it acted as a healing agent and topical anesthetic, the numbing effects Harley liked to coquettishly label “the tinglies.”

“Y’know, Red,” Harley panted slightly, her cheeks flushed as Ivy kissed her way back up to Harley’s mouth. “Ain’t ya toxins strongest at, um, _inside_ ya mouth?”

Ivy rolled her eyes and very deliberately licked a line of Harley’s collarbone, hearing the blonde woman gulp audibly.

“Where else did those _mean, nasty_ twigs get you, darling?” Ivy cooed, only partially condescending. She didn’t like seeing Harley in pain anymore than she liked to be in pain herself.

“Just my arms and b–um, I mean, just _all_ over, Red. Ya just gonna have to kiss me everywhere, just _everywhere_ , goddammit. Ya gonna have to take responsibility.”

“Responsibility?” Ivy rested her cheek on Harley’s chest. “I thought we already stated it wasn’t my fault.”

“Well, uh, it was _plants_ that did it. All plants are yours, right?”

“Damn right,” Ivy smirked. “Well, then, let me apologize on behalf of my children.”

Ivy’s fingertips brushed the drawstring of Harley’s pajama bottoms. “Should we start here, daffodil?”

“Yes, please.” Harley squeaked, her face now red in a different way. She grabbed hold of Ivy’s face. “Wait. Call me that again.”

“Mm. Daffodil.”

“Oh shit, better.” And Harley drew her in for another kiss.

Ivy was grateful for Harley’s forethought; it was a good thing they locked the door.

* * *

The next morning was revoltingly bright, and the house surprisingly empty. Ivy picked Harley up from the bed and carried her down the stairs, only to find that the living room was nothing like she imagined. No signs of Solo cups or overturned furniture; even the snack bowls were cleaned up and all signs of food were stored away.

“Ladies,” Selina was seated on the sofa, wearing a pair of sunglasses and rubbing her temple. “I see you two had a good night.”

“How’s everything so tidy, Kitty Cat?” Harley asked as Ivy set her down in an arm chair. “I heard the commotion from upstairs; this place should be a sty.”

“No one does after-party cleanup like GCPD’s crime scene cleanup crew,” Selina grinned wickedly. “Oh, and Ivy?”

Ivy arched a brow at the cat. “What?”

“Not that I mind it that you and Harley were screwing under my roof,” Selina removed her sunglasses, revealing bloodshot eyes. “But next time, stuff something under the door. The guests didn’t appreciate it. I haven’t been this high since college.”

**Author's Note:**

> I had to explain the ending on Tumblr, so basically I headcanon Ivy can emit certain things when under certain emotions. In this particular instance, I meant when she and Harley were *cough* having a good time, she essentially made everyone in the house high with, um, her high, so to speak lmao.


End file.
